Sisters

Dedicated to my adorable little sister.

I love you till the end of time, loser.

I decided to write this after a particularly brief visit from my little sister that reminded me how special she is to me.

When I was a child I felt like I didn’t fit in, I was too girly to be part of the guys and too boyish to be part of the girls. I only started to make friends when I turned thirteen, before that I had only my imagination for company.

When I was seven I asked my mom for a sister. I don’t know how or why but I somehow knew that if I had a sister then I wouldn’t need friends ever again. My sister was born six weeks premature and I distinctly remember the night that we took my mom to the hospital. We had been getting ready for a dinner with friends of my parents, I remember the jeans that I wanted to wear were bejeweled and I remember how scared and confused I was when my mom called my dad from the bathroom with a panicked voice and we all rushed to get in the car and drive to the hospital which was about twenty minutes to half an hour away. We sang children hymns the whole way there because we were so excited to meet her. I spent that night at my parents friends house, the people who would later become my sister's godparents.

I remember the first time that I saw her, it was almost a week after she was born because of her being premature, she was in ICU and I was too young to be admitted in that ward, but when I met her for the first time she was so tiny in between all of the pipes and machines that were helping her breathe and keeping her warm and I remember how my mom told me that I could hold her hand. I was fascinated by how tiny she was, her little fingers and toes were the best for me. When I put my finger into her hand to play with her tiny fingers she grabbed onto my finger and her grip was so strong for such a small thing and I knew immediately that that she was know my responsibility and I knew that I would do anything to keep her safe and happy.

Of course as she grew I was the typical big sister, I criticized her block buildings and I bullied her mercilessly but I made sure that she always knew how much I loved her and if anyone else were to try and bully her then they would have hell to pay. Since I have been out of the house we have become even closer and she often sleeps over for weekends and we go shopping and stay up late talking while we build forts and drink hot chocolate. Looking at her is like looking into a mirror and yet she is undoubtedly her own person with her own stubborn ideas. If I could describe her in one word I would have to say "Sunshine" and anyone who meets her agrees that she is a soft soul but she has so much strength inside of herself.

Now she is turning sixteen and it's breaking my heart. On one hand I cannot wait for her to grow up so that we can cause trouble together but on the other hand I don't want to let her grow up because I know she is too precious for this world and I'm terrified to see what will happen when it breaks her heart.

My sister is my confidant, my partner in crime, my parabatai and my best friend. I cannot imagine a world without her nor can I imagine what I could have done to deserve a perfect soul like hers as my sister but I am so grateful for every second that I get to spend with her. Every second that I get to be her big sister is a blessing that I can never repay even if I lived for a thousand years.

I think the best part is that I was somehow right, I never needed a friend again because she was always there for me and it didn't matter if I had been mean to her or if she had been annoying to me, if one of us needed the other we were always there.

Thanks for reading xx